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my game of thrones obsession

I am obsessed with Game of Thrones and it’s only getting worse.

Unlike my friend Kathryn, who has consumed approximately 20 hours of the show in the last two weeks while holding down a job, I started watching the HBO show from day one. That’s because I am a sucker for period dramas. And the commercials led me to believe that the show was a period drama, set in the Middle Ages. I didn’t realize the show had dragons in it until it was too late. Dragons, as everyone knows, are shorthand for nerdsville. And I left nerdsville at least ten years ago.

The reason I got hooked on Game of Thrones early on is this character, whose name is Drogo, but who I referred to throughout 2011 as “my boyfriend.” His pecs, as you can see, are seriously distracting. As is the perfectly applied eyeliner. But it’s really the beard that gets me.

drogo

Before you start being all worried for Tom, consider that the guy who plays Drogo is actually the real-life husband of Lisa Bonet, on whom Tom has had a crush for approximately three decades. Lisa Bonet is a real person so she could THEORETICALLY fall in love with Tom, whereas Drogo can’t fall in love with me because he’s pretend. So really, the person you should feel bad for is me.

Back to Drogo. In case you think I’m weird, most women who watch the show think Drogo is hot. Linds thinks he’s hot and she doesn’t like muscular men, or beards. Cuz says he’s a H2 check on her hotness scale. Cuz’s hotness scale, called BUNAH, is super complicated, but basically an H2 check means, Cuz would tap that.

As for me and Drogo, our romance was shortlived, because (SPOILER ALERT) he dies at the end of Season 1. I got over it quickly, though, because Game of Thrones is literally ground zero for hot bearded men. Witness:

robb

Robb Stark here starts out as a boy in Season 1 but morphs into a full-grown hottie by Season 3. I attribute it less to any physical transformation and more to the fact that Robb becomes King of the North and therefore becomes very powerful. Power is hot.

Jon-Snow-S3

Jon Snow is also a Stark but is illegitimate. So he has a chip on his shoulder and an outsider’s mindset, which means he’s your classic tortured hero. His storyline forces him to be in cold places all the time, so I don’t know what his chest looks like. But he looks good in fur. Sometimes you just have to go on faith.

jamie

Jaime Lannister is a really bad guy for the first two seasons, but (SPOILER ALERT) something really bad happens to him in Season 3, and then he gets all humanized. Personally I found him hotter as a bad guy, but whatever. I had this same issue with Eric the Vampire from True Blood, who went from being a stone cold fox in the first few seasons to turning into a mealy-mouthed nice guy in the latter seasons. What could be less hot than a nice vampire? Nothing. Anyway, back to Jaime here. His character pushes a kid off a castle wall and has sex with his own sister. None of that detracts from his looks, of course, which are exceptional.

It doesn’t even gross me out to think that if any of the characters above actually existed, their beards would have lice and bits of mutton in them. Nor does it bother me to know that in real life, the actors who play these men are very short. I have a feeling that the guy who plays Jon Snow is like, 5’2″. All I know is, I saw him in a fashion spread in GQ and something wasn’t right. Nothing wrong with being 5’2,” of course. But I’m almost 5’9″. It ruins the fantasy of having a hot bearded guy at my disposal when I have to think about kneeling down to make out with him. But whatever, it doesn’t matter. Because it’s a fantasy. Game of Thrones gets that. I get that.

I wish I could say I’m just into the TV show. But I can’t. I’m deep in the throes of the third book, which is very well written, and in which major stuff starts happening. I’m roughly three or four chapters ahead of where the show and Tom are, which results in Tom and I bonding in the following fashion:

Yoona: “Tom. Shit just got REAL in the book.”

Tom: (wide eyed, sits down). “OK. You have to tell me. Immediately.”

Yoona: “Do you really want to know? Because it’s crazy.”

Tom: “I WANT TO KNOW I WANT TO KNOW I WANT TO KNOW!!!”

Yoona: (disclosure of major plot points).

Tom: “Hoo boy.” (Pause). “Who’s Arya, again?” Then: “Why did you tell me all that?”

tom birthday

Short bearded guys on TV come and go. But there’s only one real-life Tom. He’s 6’4″ and all mine.

Happy Birthday my love.

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37 Comments Post a comment
  1. Love love this post Yoona! I’ve been on the GoT wagon since HBO day one too. About to crack into the books… I am afraid.

    July 17, 2013
  2. I love love love this show! And even saying that doesn’t even begin to cover my like for it! Can’t wait to find out what happens next! I want to read the books but I don’t want to spoil the show for myself!

    May 20, 2013
  3. skindog #

    You totally missed what’s so cool about Drogo. His ponytail. It’s so long because the Dothraki cut the ponytail off the opponents they vanquish in battle. He hasn’t lost any battles, like, ever, so his ponytail is way long. He’s so badass.

    May 12, 2013
    • where’s your pony, erskine?

      May 16, 2013
      • skindog #

        I lost my battle with genetics.

        May 16, 2013
  4. After I got sucked into the first season, I started reading the books. The third one was by far the best, and YES SHIT GETS REAL. So good. Drew (my Tom) made me stop telling him spoilers because I was ruining everything for him. But OH THAT THIRD BOOK. Also, I agree with you about the hot bearded men.

    May 5, 2013
  5. texasdeb #

    You didn’t even mention Peter Dinklage and who cares how tall he is because… Peter Freakin’ DINKLAGE. You guys! Maybe it is your youth (which means this is all about me being so Ancient of Days or whatever) but…seriously…. No Tyrion shout-out? Not even a little one? (OK couldn’t help myself there).

    And last but not at all least – The Hold Steady coming in with “The Bear, The Bear”.. GOT FTW.

    May 4, 2013
    • what is a GOT FTW. all these new acronyms. i can’t keep up

      May 16, 2013
      • texasdeb #

        Game of Thrones For The Win. Sorry. I am typically so far behind the ball I’m all the way off the field. It never occurs to me that anybody under the age of 45 doesn’t already know (and hasn’t already tired of) anything I’m dimly aware of.

        And yeah. Book Three. Whew!

        What’s more annoying than somebody trying to avoid your spoiler comments after you’ve done the work of reading the books? Somebody trying to shortcut the storyline rather than read the books themownselves (yeah that’s YOU I’m carping about, husband man).

        May 16, 2013
  6. I tried to start reading the books but, due to my really slow reading, I kept forgetting who was who and subsequently got really confused. However, you’ve inspired me to marathon the first season of the show RIGHT NOW.

    May 3, 2013
    • much to my annoyance Tom still doesn’t know the names of the various clans, it is intensely frustrating. you could always diagram it. Also the Wikipedia page is handy

      May 3, 2013
      • All over the country, funny and cute but otherwise unfairly socially sidelined “little people” are hopefully getting some big time thanks to Dinklage / Tyrion, who I think is adorable.

        Regarding all the hundreds of characters and clans that are described in excruciating but somehow forgettable detail, this comedy group I write music for lampooned this very topic in a pretty pretty funny (and very NSFW!!) way. (Disclosure: I also wrote the music for this track, but it’s highly relevant to this discussion! 🙂 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7KocHhWTwMw

        May 6, 2013
  7. maria bruce #

    Oh Yoona, I love the game of thrones also…but I have to agree with you, your Tom is much much more attractive that any of those bearded actors….Tom is real!!!!
    your friend, Maria B.

    May 3, 2013
    • tom is SO real. real men are definitely preferable to pretend men. but looking at the eye candy keeps me young, my dear maria. XOXO

      May 3, 2013
  8. Love the books, 4 and 5 aren’t too bad, just lots of detail……which is so not very exciting, I spent both books thinking…..come on get on with it…….and then it did…..and I was pissed, sort of like I was when Eddard Stark died…(oh and knowing who played him in the TV show just made it worse because I have a huge crush on Sean Bean)…..I believe my words were “I can’t believe they killed off the dad!”

    May 3, 2013
    • ned! total shocker. i wish they’d done away with catelyn instead because she blows. having come this far, i will of course have to read 4 and 5

      May 3, 2013
      • I was happy when they finally did away with (spoiler)….Lisa Arryn….Oh and Selyse is annoying too..

        May 5, 2013
  9. Your kids are really really cute, Yoona. Insanely cute.

    May 3, 2013
  10. Jessica #

    There was a new character introduced in the most recent epi – based on the quick scene he was in, “grey worm” might just take the prize.

    May 3, 2013
  11. HBO binge-watchers such as Kathryn should take note. When you watch a series from day one, the hotness inhabits so many aspects of your life. It lives with you, breathing life into your cocktail parties and mocking you all Sunday afternoon until you tell the kids to just go to bed already because it’s almost 6:00 and I’m going to watch the east coast feed and WTF I don’t care if you’re not tired, fine yes I will give you my iTunes password just get out of my face.

    Spread out the joy, Kathryn, is all I’m sayin’.

    May 3, 2013
    • Pete, I have no idea what you’re talking about. At all. I’m sure you also never DVR the east coast show to watch it before 9, because 9 is really f-ing late after a day spent surviving your kids. I call it Succubus Sunday

      May 3, 2013
      • Somehow, I have managed to live a DVR-free life. Call me old school, with the qualification that HBO East is not very old school. HBO Go is another story.

        May 3, 2013
  12. enjoy book 3. sadly, 4 and 5 drop drastically downhill. :/

    May 3, 2013
    • have heard that. have also heard that fans are concerned the author will die before finishing the series. so much to worry about

      May 3, 2013
      • Oh yes! I hear he had to tell HBO how he sees it all ending in case he kicks it, so we’ll at least have a resolved show? Merp.

        May 3, 2013
      • I don’t want to sound crazy but in your photo here you look like the woman who plays Margery. tell me you’ve heard that before

        May 3, 2013
      • Seriously?! To me, that is the BEST compliment because I think Natalie Dormer is so pretty and pouty! Knew there had to be a subconscious reason I went with this photo.

        May 3, 2013
  13. Mary #

    “It doesn’t even gross me out to think that if any of the characters above actually existed, their beards would have lice and bits of mutton in them. ” First laugh of the day for me with this line. I too am obsessed with the men of Game of Thrones and completely agree that Eric of True Blood not being as hot when he was Mr. Nice Guy… Thanks for a great post!

    May 3, 2013
    • hopefully Eric turns badass again. but i didn’t watch any of last season. maybe he already turned back

      May 3, 2013
  14. here in Seattle at the emp museum they have the swords chair for people to sit in, totally awesome.

    May 3, 2013
    • i would expect nothing less from Paul Allen. and now I finally have a reason to visit the EMP

      May 3, 2013
  15. Oh man, the “red wedding” right? So horrific. And SO good!

    May 3, 2013

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