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Posts tagged ‘HBO’

May 3

37 Comments

my game of thrones obsession

I am obsessed with Game of Thrones and it’s only getting worse.

Unlike my friend Kathryn, who has consumed approximately 20 hours of the show in the last two weeks while holding down a job, I started watching the HBO show from day one. That’s because I am a sucker for period dramas. And the commercials led me to believe that the show was a period drama, set in the Middle Ages. I didn’t realize the show had dragons in it until it was too late. Dragons, as everyone knows, are shorthand for nerdsville. And I left nerdsville at least ten years ago.

The reason I got hooked on Game of Thrones early on is this character, whose name is Drogo, but who I referred to throughout 2011 as “my boyfriend.” His pecs, as you can see, are seriously distracting. As is the perfectly applied eyeliner. But it’s really the beard that gets me.

drogo

Before you start being all worried for Tom, consider that the guy who plays Drogo is actually the real-life husband of Lisa Bonet, on whom Tom has had a crush for approximately three decades. Lisa Bonet is a real person so she could THEORETICALLY fall in love with Tom, whereas Drogo can’t fall in love with me because he’s pretend. So really, the person you should feel bad for is me.

Back to Drogo. In case you think I’m weird, most women who watch the show think Drogo is hot. Linds thinks he’s hot and she doesn’t like muscular men, or beards. Cuz says he’s a H2 check on her hotness scale. Cuz’s hotness scale, called BUNAH, is super complicated, but basically an H2 check means, Cuz would tap that.

As for me and Drogo, our romance was shortlived, because (SPOILER ALERT) he dies at the end of Season 1. I got over it quickly, though, because Game of Thrones is literally ground zero for hot bearded men. Witness:

robb

Robb Stark here starts out as a boy in Season 1 but morphs into a full-grown hottie by Season 3. I attribute it less to any physical transformation and more to the fact that Robb becomes King of the North and therefore becomes very powerful. Power is hot.

Jon-Snow-S3

Jon Snow is also a Stark but is illegitimate. So he has a chip on his shoulder and an outsider’s mindset, which means he’s your classic tortured hero. His storyline forces him to be in cold places all the time, so I don’t know what his chest looks like. But he looks good in fur. Sometimes you just have to go on faith.

jamie

Jaime Lannister is a really bad guy for the first two seasons, but (SPOILER ALERT) something really bad happens to him in Season 3, and then he gets all humanized. Personally I found him hotter as a bad guy, but whatever. I had this same issue with Eric the Vampire from True Blood, who went from being a stone cold fox in the first few seasons to turning into a mealy-mouthed nice guy in the latter seasons. What could be less hot than a nice vampire? Nothing. Anyway, back to Jaime here. His character pushes a kid off a castle wall and has sex with his own sister. None of that detracts from his looks, of course, which are exceptional.

It doesn’t even gross me out to think that if any of the characters above actually existed, their beards would have lice and bits of mutton in them. Nor does it bother me to know that in real life, the actors who play these men are very short. I have a feeling that the guy who plays Jon Snow is like, 5’2″. All I know is, I saw him in a fashion spread in GQ and something wasn’t right. Nothing wrong with being 5’2,” of course. But I’m almost 5’9″. It ruins the fantasy of having a hot bearded guy at my disposal when I have to think about kneeling down to make out with him. But whatever, it doesn’t matter. Because it’s a fantasy. Game of Thrones gets that. I get that.

I wish I could say I’m just into the TV show. But I can’t. I’m deep in the throes of the third book, which is very well written, and in which major stuff starts happening. I’m roughly three or four chapters ahead of where the show and Tom are, which results in Tom and I bonding in the following fashion:

Yoona: “Tom. Shit just got REAL in the book.”

Tom: (wide eyed, sits down). “OK. You have to tell me. Immediately.”

Yoona: “Do you really want to know? Because it’s crazy.”

Tom: “I WANT TO KNOW I WANT TO KNOW I WANT TO KNOW!!!”

Yoona: (disclosure of major plot points).

Tom: “Hoo boy.” (Pause). “Who’s Arya, again?” Then: “Why did you tell me all that?”

tom birthday

Short bearded guys on TV come and go. But there’s only one real-life Tom. He’s 6’4″ and all mine.

Happy Birthday my love.

Apr 12

18 Comments

tv with tom

Tom spends a lot of his downtime watching TV. I’ve spent a lot of time watching Tom watch TV. For my money, the latter is way more entertaining.

There is, first of all, the sports. Tom grew up in a family that considers the watching of televised sports to be legitimate family time, and I respect that. But what amuses me is his utter lack of discretion when it comes to the “sports” he will watch on TV. Two weeks ago I found him sprawled on a shag rug, lazily scratching his stomach, eyes glued to what looked to my untrained eye like roller derby, except on skis, down the side of a mountain. Tom caught me observing, and practically shrieked in excitement. “LOOK, LOOK!! Yoona, you have to watch this–they call this a SPORT!!” I have no idea how much of the Red Bull Games he ended up watching, but given that it was a Saturday, it could have been anywhere from 4 to 7 hours.

As for basketball, soccer, and football–Tom watches all the games and DVRs the highlights, both for his repeated viewing and my future delectation. So it is that I’ve been forced to sit through approximately five hundred 10-second snippets of soccer goals, all devoid of context, each of which look identical to one another. For the record, I’ve only seen one goal in my life that looked any different from the rest, and that’s this goal from the 2002 Champions League Final. And I’m pretty sure I only remember that goal because I am obsessed with Zidane. In any event, Tom’s commitment to watching sports on TV is truly awesome to behold.

Particularly given all the other shows he has to fit into his schedule. In some cultures, Sundays are for God. Tom goes to church on Sundays alright, except his church is called the Church of HBO, and the congregation meets at 9:00 PM. Weeknights are for DVDs of defunct series that are no longer on TV (e.g. The Wire), because the options currently available on Comcast are simply not enough. And before you comment on how awesome The Wire is, be assured that Tom will watch entire seasons of bad shows, not just good ones. In 2007 he Netflix-ed the entire run of Magnum P.I. and spent three months watching high-value episodes like my personal favorite, Ep. 3: “China Doll.”

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Of course, reality shows are a vital part of Tom’s TV mix. And he doesn’t just watch, he feels. He talks to himself when he’s watching American Idol, and cries during Extreme Makeover Home Edition. I don’t care if this is sexist: I prefer my man to be, you know, manly. And simply put, it’s not hot when I come downstairs and Tom’s talking to the TV, shouting singing advice to an Idol contestant. Or worse, when he mutters to himself about the Idol contestant (e.g. “She’s so Broadway!”). As for EMHE–that show, while it was on, would regularly reduce Tom to a shambles. It is no exaggeration to say that I’ve never seen Tom watch an episode of Extreme Makeover Home Edition without it ending with him sobbing like a little girl.

Lastly, there’s the “news.” On any given weeknight around 10:00, Tom’s in front of the TV, marking up a brief and watching Dateline. Observe your husband watching enough TV about guys killing their wives, and you start to get nervous. I remarked on it once in jest, and this was his chilling, unfunny response: “I’d never kill you, because I’d get caught.” Not “I’d never kill you because I love you,” or “I’d never kill you because that’s INSANE.” No. Because he’d GET CAUGHT.

Please remember to mention this blog post to the authorities if I ever go missing. And now, I have to go watch Tom watch some TV.